Texas Senate Candidate Sadler: Honey I Shrunk The Texas

Paul, can we talk about your yard signs?

What is the deal with your horrible logo and signage?

You placed a little teeny tiny Texas in the middle, surrounded by a red circle, just below your giant-font name.

Look, I’m new to Texas.  But even I know that you’re not supposed to lead with the message that “Everything Is Tinier In Texas!”

If you’re elected, do you promise to “Shrink Texas Down to Miniature?”

How about “Remember, Sadler Is Bigger Than Little Texas?”

Do you have a little red circle around Texas because “Texas Is Better When It’s Completely Circumscribed?”[1]

When I walk around my Democratic-leaning neighborhood and see your yard signs I picture you as that character in Kids in the Hall who viewed the heads of undesirables through outstretched thumb and forefinger to visualize “crushing their little heads.”  Only in your case, Paul, I read your logo’s plan as “If elected, I will crush your tiny little Texas,” with that character’s strained accent.  I like to hold my fingers up to your sign, squint at it, and squeeze my thumb and forefingers together aggressively.

Look, I understand you don’t really expect to win your Senate race in Texas, because you’re a Democrat running for statewide office, and Texas turned Republican in the years between Barry Goldwater and Ann Richards.  So you kind of know that Ted Cruz is going to crush your campaign and your teeny tiny Texas even without this yard sign problem.

But for your next campaign?  Find out whose brilliant logo idea that was and fire that person.


[1] Huh-huh, he said “circumscribed.”  Shut up, Beevis.

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